エイラ | Ayla

Commissioned by Anonymous. I usually don’t take commissions, but since I was fairly confident I could do a good job translating this, I accepted it. It seems to me that this song is about someone who wants to die, but deep inside wants to live. In order to convince herself, she kept needing to find a reason to die.

☆ Title: エイラ
★ Vocals: GUMI
☆ Composition and lyrics: 宮下 遊(Miyashita Yuu)

私を殺してと言ったね 泣き笑いながら
殺してと言った 殺してと言った
何一つ変えられずに
私の、話は
最初から終っていた

watashi o koroshite to itta ne naki warainagara
koroshite to itta koroshite to itta
nani hitotsu kaerarezu ni
watashi no, hanashi wa
saisho kara owatteita

I told you to kill me, didn’t I? While smiling and crying
I told you to kill me, I told you to kill me
Unable to change a single thing
my story
was over before it even began

いつ鳴り響く人の声、消し去ってくれる
何処までも静かで優しい、蝉の声を
何故そう感じてしまったのだろう

itsu mo nari hibiku hito no koe, keshi satte kureru
doko made mo shizuka de yasashii, semi no koe o
naze sou kanjite shimatta no darou

The ever calm and kind voice of the cicadas
drowns out the constantly ringing voices of everyone
I wonder what made me feel that way about them

ずっと未来は赤く赤く濁って 私を待った
そんな未来が両手を引き千切った

zutto mirai wa akaku akaku nigotte watashi o matta
sonna mirai ga ryoute o hiki chigitta

The future, forever and ever clouded red, waited for me
and such a future tore off both my arms

冷たい手は心臓を探していた
帰れないってわかってたのに、涙は

tsumetai te wa shinzou o sagashiteita
kaerenai tte wakatteta noni, namida wa

Cold hands searched for my heart
Despite knowing there was no going back, the tears…

殺してと言ったね 生き続けたくて
殺してと言った 殺してと言った
ありふれた日々の前に
命と、言葉は
欠片も残らない

koroshite to itta ne iki tsudzuketakute
koroshite to itta koroshite to itta
arifureta hibi no mae ni
inochi to, kotoba wa
kakera mo nokoranai

I told you to kill me, didn’t I? Still wanting to live,
I told you to kill me, I told you to kill me
Before ordinary days,
not a scrap of life, nor words
remain

暗く深い藍、我侭も飲み込んでくれる
枯れた葉は綺麗で、悲しい表情を
何時繰り返してしまったのだろう

kuraku fukai ao, wagamama mo nomi konde kureru
kareta ha wa kirei de, kanashii hyoujou o
itsu kuri kaeshite shimatta no darou

A dark, deep indigo swallows all my selfishness
Withered leaves are so pretty – When could it have been
that they ended up putting a sad expression on my face again?

きっと心が影に陰に飲まれて 不幸になった
きっと心はぐしゃぐしゃになったんだ

kitto kokoro ga kage ni kage ni nomarete fukou ni natta
kitto kokoro wa gushagusha ni natta n da

I’m sure my heart lost its joy as it was swallowed by shadows within shadows
I’m sure my heart is no longer even recognizable

悪い夢も いつしか霞んでいた
溺れたいって思ってたのに、どうして

warui yume mo itsu shika kasundeita
oboretai tte omotteta noni, doushite

Even my nightmares were fading out of view before I knew it
Why? When I was thinking about how I want to drown?

殺してと言ったね 痛みを忘れて
殺してと言った 殺してと言った
世界は終わらないんだろう
さよなら、またねと
半分嘘をついた

koroshite to itta ne itami o wasurete
koroshite to itta koroshite to itta
sekai wa owaranai n darou
sayonara, mata ne to
hanbun uso o tsuita

I told you to kill me, didn’t I? Forgetting the pain,
I told you to kill me, I told you to kill me
The world won’t end, you know
“Good bye, see you later”
Half of that was a lie

四季過ぎ去っていった
私だけが追いつけない
誰かが泣いていたんだ
氷の中で今
命の音を聴いた
夢を見させて

shiki sugi satte itta
watashi dake ga oi tsukenai
dare ka ga naiteita n da
mizu no naka de ima
inochi no oto o kiita
yume o misasete

The four seasons passed by
with only me unable to keep up
Someone was crying
Now, submerged in water,
I listened to the sound of life
Let me dream

もう一度抗うよ 私の幸せに
僅かに 遠かった
残酷な それは
色鮮やかで
一人一人が愛されていた
あの花束に私はいない

mou ichido aragau yo watashi no shiawase ni
wazuka ni tookatta
zankoku na sore wa
iro azayaka de
hitori hitori ga aisareteita
ano hanataba ni watashi wa inai

One more time, I’ll struggle to fight against my happiness
A little bit distant,
how cruel it is
that the vivid bouquet
loved by each and every person
doesn’t include me in it

殺してと言ったね 独りにしないで
声も出せない あの花の様に
最後に君に会えてよかった
ありがとう

koroshite to itta ne hitori ni shinai de
koe mo dasenai ano hana no you ni
saigo ni kimi ni aete yokatta
arigatou

I told you to kill me, didn’t I? Don’t leave me alone
Just like that flower, I can’t let out my voice
I’m glad that I was able to meet you in the end
Thank you

何処かに閉じ込めていた 命を預けて
殺してと言った
殺してよ

doko ka ni toji kometeita inochi o azukete
koroshite to itta
koroshite yo

Leaving my life in your care, which I had locked away somewhere
I told you to kill me
Kill me.