Annihilation

I feel the refrain in my bones. After the pain of my final semester of physics, I just wanted to live in peace instead of suffering through a master’s degree, so I perhaps foolishly decided to become a high school teacher. As one, only the nostalgia of my university career would be my glory. Unfortunately, every second week I get sick, and in between I’m stuck in a state of listlessness. At some points, not even caffeine or sugar has been able to stop me from falling asleep at my desk. Little did I know that this freedom would quickly become a trap, as the days just keep speeding up beyond my control. And now, here I am, looking for a way out. Shit. I wonder what KOKOMI was thinking when wrote these lyrics.

☆ Title: Annihilation
★ Album: 薔薇の棺に太陽は在らず
☆ Album Artist: Asriel
★ Vocals and lyrics: KOKOMI
☆ Arrangement and composition: 黒瀬圭亮 (Kurose Keisuke)

心惹かれる邪悪なモノを横目に通り抜け
昼も夜もナイ熱く冷めた日常に閉じこもる
ア ナ タ
イルミネーション電飾はそう一時の満足
深海のように動かない感情に嫌気がさす
ア ナ タ ヘ

kokoro hikareru jaaku na mono o yokome ni toori nuke
hiru mo yoru mo nai atsuku sameta nichijou ni toji komoru
anata
irumineeshon denshoku wa sou hitotoki no manzoku
shinkai no you ni ugokanai kanjou ni iyake ga sasu
anata e

Secluding yourself away during intensely calm days with no day
or night
Y O U only give a passing glance to evil, as attractive as it is
Festive lights are only a temporary satisfaction
D E A R Y O U, who’s sick of feelings as unmoving
as the deep sea

所詮この世は醜くて
どうにでもなれ何もかも
捨てた瞬間から 変われた気がしてた
ボロボロに涸れる迄
使い込みそして捨てたれた
set me free, not pure?
ア タ シ ヘ

shosen kono yo wa minikukute
dou ni demo nare nani mo kamo
suteta shunkan kara kawareta ki ga shiteta
boroboro ni kareru made
tsukai komi soshite suterareta
set me free, not pure?
atashi e

In the end, this world is disgusting
I couldn’t care less what happens to it
From the moment I abandoned it, I felt like I was able to change
Until I was wrung dry
I was used up and then thrown away
set me free, not pure?
D E A R  M E

何処までが本当の自由で
何処からが罠だったのだろう
加速する流れ逆らえず
踏み外した 道の傷跡 それをなぞりながら
ただ懐かしさだけを糧に生きてる

doko made ga hontou no jiyuu de
doko kara ga wana datta no darou
kasoku suru nagare sakaraezu
fumi hazushita michi no kizuato sore o nazori nagara
tada natsukashisa dake o kate ni ikiteru

How far does true freedom go?
And at what point does it become a trap?
The current speeds up and I can’t go against it
While I trace the scar I got from stepping off the beaten path,
I’m only living off of nostalgia

夢の中の アタシはいつも同じ
綺麗なまま 笑っているのに ねぇ

yume no naka no atashi wa itsu mo onaji
kirei na mama waratteiru noni nee

Even though in my dreams, I’m always the same
Pretty and smiling, right?

所詮この世は醜くて
どうにでもなれ何もかも
捨てた瞬間から 変われた気がしてた
ボロボロに涸れる迄
使い込み軽く捨てたれた
set me free, not pure?
ア タ シ ヘ

shosen kono yo wa minikukute
dou ni demo nare nani mo kamo
suteta shunkan kara kawareta ki ga shiteta
boroboro ni kareru made
tsukai komi soshite suterareta
set me free, not pure?
atashi e

In the end, this world is disgusting
I couldn’t care less what happens to it
From the moment I abandoned it, I felt like I was able to change
Until I was wrung dry
I was used up and thrown away like it was nothing
set me free, not pure?
D E A R  M E

何処までが本当の自由で
何処からが罠だったのだろう
加速する流れ逆らえず
踏み外した 道の傷跡 それをなぞりながら
ただ懐かしさだけがアタシの栄光

doko made ga hontou no jiyuu de
doko kara ga wana datta no darou
kasoku suru nagare sakaraezu
fumi hazushita michi no kizuato sore o nazori nagara
tada natsukashisa dake ga atashi no eikou

How far does true freedom go?
And at what point does it become a trap?
The current speeds up and I can’t go against it
While I trace the scar I got from stepping off the beaten path,
nostalgia is my only glory

また今日も部屋の中
出口を探す 深海魚の姿 Realize
薬も もう効かない
踏み外した 道の傷跡 それをなぞりながら
まだ懐かしさに捕らわれたままで居る

mata kyou mo heya no naka
deguchi o sagasu shinkaigyo no sugata Realize
kusuri mo mou kikanai
fumi hazushita michi no kizuato sore o nazori nagara
mada natsukashisa ni torawareta mama de iru

Today, in my room again,
I look for an exit again and realize my form as a deep sea fish
The medicine won’t work anymore
While I trace the scar I got from stepping off the beaten path,
I remain a slave to nostalgia

彷徨えし瞑宮 | Wandering Labyrinth

Been hooked on Asriel lately. Their music scratches the same itch as Adamkadmon. I feel like this song in particular is a good one to end the decade with. May the 2020s treat you all well.

Note: Labyrinth is usually spelled 迷宮、but here it is spelled with 瞑、which is usually associated with sleep and meditation. In other words, don’t think about it as the sort of labyrinth that you would get lost in physically, but one in which you would get lost in thought. That’s my interpretation at least.

☆ Title: 彷徨えし瞑宮
★ Album: Devils Lullaby
☆ Album Artist: Asriel
★ Vocals and lyrics: KOKOMI
☆ Arrangement and composition: 黒瀬圭亮 (Kurose Keisuke)

貴方を想うほど言えぬこの気持ちを
いつまで抱えれるかな

anata o omou hodo ienu kono kimochi o
itsu made kakaereru kana

These feelings for you, words are not enough to express them
I wonder, how long will I hold onto them?

ただ待ち惚けては無いもの強請りした
あの頃 懐かしい

tada machi bokete wa nai mono nedari shita
ano koro natsukashii

I just waited in vain, wishing for what I couldn’t have
I feel nostalgia for those times

(Last night…Ha…)

ひとりのときが長過ぎて慣れ過ぎたから
ふたりが怖くなる
空白の意味 知るはずも無い未来の絵図

hitori no toki ga naga sugite nare sugita kara
futari ga kowaku naru
kuuhaku no imi shiru hazu mo nai mirai no ezu

I’ve spent too much time all alone, and gotten too used to it
such that I’m scared of being together
A blank meaning, a drawing of the future I have no right to know

一秒先 一秒前に 私が居るように
一秒后 貴方の横 誰が居る

ichibyou saki ichibyou mae ni watashi ga iru you ni
ichibyou ato anata no yoko dare ga iru

Like how I’ll be there one second ahead, one second ago
One second later, who will be next to you?

亡くすより詠おう サヨナラのうた
きっと…これでいい
罅割れた硝子に 映し出される虚空
彷徨えし瞑宮

nakusu yori utaou sayonara no uta
kitto… kore de ii
hibi wareta garasu ni utsushi dasareru kokuu
samayoeshi meikyuu

Instead of losing someone, let’s sing a song of goodbye
Surely… it’s fine this way
Reflected in the broken glass is an empty space
A wandering labyrinth

永遠に捧ぐ想いを全部束ねて
強い風を待つの 遠くへ遠くへ運ぶ風を
新しい始まりの丘で 1つ2つ3つ数え手を離す
あの空高くに 舞い上がれ

eien ni sosogu omoi o zenbu tabanete
tsuyoi kaze o matsu no tooku e tooku e hakobu kaze o
atarashii hajimari no oka de hitotsu futatsu mitsu kazoe te o hanasu
ano sora takaku ni mai agare

I bundle all the feelings I’ll offer for eternity
and I wait for a strong wind, a wind that’ll carry them far, far away
At the hill of new beginnings, one, two, three I count as I let them go
May they fly high into the sky

空に 風に 私はなりたかった
星に 君に 私は在りたい

sora ni kaze ni watashi wa naritakatta
hoshi ni kimi ni watashi wa aritai

I wished I could become the sky, the wind
I want to exist in the stars, in you

そうして感じる全てを君と
共に感じて生きていたい

sou shite kanjiru subete o kimi to
tomo ni kanjite ikiteitai

In doing so, I want to live on
feeling everything there is to feel together with you

ずっとずっと忘れることはない
けれど―――『過去』の記憶―――

zutto zutto wasureru koto wa nai
keredo――― 『kako』no kioku―――

Never, ever, will I forget
though they may be —memories of the ‘past’—

永遠に捧ぐ想いを全部束ねて
強い風を待つの 遠くへ遠くへ運ぶ風を
新しい始まりの丘で 1つ2つ3つ数え手を離す
あの空高くに舞い上がれ

eien ni sosogu omoi o zenbu tabanete
tsuyoi kaze o matsu no tooku e tooku e hakobu kaze o
atarashii hajimari no oka de hitotsu futatsu mitsu kazoe te o hanasu
ano sora takaku ni mai agare

I bundle all the feelings I’ll offer for eternity
and I wait for a strong wind, a wind that’ll carry them far, far away
At the hill of new beginnings, one, two, three I count as I let them go
May they fly high into the sky

空に 人に 私は愛を詠い
星に 君に 私は在りたい

sora ni hito ni watashi wa ai o utai
hoshi ni kimi ni watashi wa aritai

I sing of love to the sky, to people
I want to exist in the stars, in you

そうして此処から始まる軌跡を
私は 歩き始めている

sou shite koko kara hajimaru kiseki o
watashi wa aruki hajimeteiru

Like that, I’m beginning to walk
the path that starts here