Despair

A story about a NEET, looking to leave her room, trapped in despair, until someone comes to take her outside, when she realizes that she just can’t do it, and stays shut in her room.

★ Title: Despair
☆ Album: Blooming Daydream
★ Album Artist: Amateras Records
☆ Vocals and lyrics: Sae Tsukiyama (築山さえ)
★ Arrangement: Mizonokuchi Yuuma (溝口ゆうま)
☆ Original Title: Fires of Hokkai (法界の火)
★ Website: http://amateras-records.com/


開かない扉 曇った窓
自分勝手な君の話
つかれた嘘が降り積もって
狭い世界は暗く染まる

akanai tobira kumotta mado
jibun katte na kimi no hanashi
tsukareta uso ga furi tsumotte
semai sekai wa kuraku somaru

A door that won’t open and a clouded window
This is a story of you being selfish
Worn out lies falling and piling up,
this confined world is stained with darkness

「外の世界は、もっと綺麗?」
まだ見ぬ希望 思い馳せる

「soto no sekai wa, motto kirei?」
mada minu kibou omoi haseru

“Is the outside world more pretty?”
My thoughts are set upon a hope that I still don’t see

募る閉塞感と 強い衝動

tsunoru heisokukan to tsuyoi shoudou

Strong impulses and the growing feeling of being trapped

「こんなのじゃない、望んでない
良い人でなんかいたくない」
閉じ込められた私の声 何処にも届かない
全て砕け散って燃えてしまえばいいのに
冷たい壁を見つめて 爪を立てる

「konna no janai, nozondenai
ii hito de nanka itakunai」
toji komerareta watashi no koe doko ni mo todokanai
subete kudake chitte moete shimaeba ii noni
tsumetai kabe o mitsumete tsume o tateru

“Not like this, I didn’t wish for this
I don’t want to be a good person or anything”
My voice doesn’t reach anywhere as I’m shut in
It’d be nice if everything got smashed up and burned
Gazing at this icy wall, I dig in my nails

曇った窓に 光満ちて
誰かが扉 遂に開けた
私は君の手を掴んで
扉の外へ 走り出した

kumotta mado ni hikari michiru
dare ka ga tobira tsui ni aketa
watashi wa kimi no te o tsukanda
tobira no soto e hashiri dashita

The clouded up window is filled with light
Somebody finally opened the door
I grabbed hold of your hand
and started running towards the outside of the door

募る絶望感と 走る衝撃

tsunoru zetsuboukan to hashiru shougeki

The shock of running and the growing feeling of despair

「こんなのじゃない、認めたくない
こんな世界なんか見たくない」
打ちひしがれた私の声 君にも届かない
全て砕け散って消えてしまえばいいのに
灰色の空仰いで 涙流す

「konna no janai, mitometakunai
konna sekai nanka mitakunai」
uchihishigareta watashi no koe kimi ni mo todokanai
subete kudake chitte kiete shimaeba ii noni
hai iro no sora aoide namida nagasu

“Not like this, I don’t want accept it
I don’t want to see a world like this”
My voice won’t even reach you as I’m overwhelmed
It’d be nice if everything got smashed up and disappeared
Looking up at the ash-coloured sky, I shed tears

「こんなのじゃない、許したくない
こんな世界なんか欲しくない」
遠ざかってゆく背中 もう君には届かない
全て砕け散って消えてしまえばいいのに
からっぽの部屋睨んで 涙流す

「konna no janai, yurushitakunai
konna sekai nanka hoshikunai」
toozakatte yuku senaka mou kimi ni wa todokanai
subete kudake chitte kiete shimaeba ii noni
karappo no heya nirande namida nagasu

“Not like this, I don’t want to allow it
I don’t want a world like this”
I see your back fade into the distance, I can’t reach you anymore
It’d be nice if everything got smashed up and disappeared
Scowling in this empty room, I shed tears

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